MARCH. this is the month where i get to experience something New. last year, i just got my heart broken. this year, i experience a different kind of thing but it turned to be a trauma out of a very bad experience...............

guess what? haha finally, na meet ko mga kalaban ko sa lipunan. haha! HOLDAPERS! We met last March 17, 2006.. Thursday.

i was on my way home from gateway with Mahalia. we watched V for Vendetta and had merienda over at KFC. i was all  alone to ride the jeepney. it is 7:15pm when i was about to pay for my fare. there was this guy beside me who shouted "Ma, ihinto nyo!". the jeepney stopped. i was expecting the guy to go down the jeep. But he didn’t. instead, he shouted again.. “ilabas nyo celfone nyo!”. Then I felt the guy grabbing my left arm and my bag while I was holding the coins I’m going to pay for the driver. I didn’t know what to do. But I wouldn’t let the guy get my bag. Instead, I shouted “wala akong celfone!”. I knew I was being holdapped. I panicked and searched where I placed my celfone. Good thing, I felt it inside my right pocket. I immediately knew I could give my bag so the guy would get away. So I let him grab my bag. But I was shocked when I saw there were a lot of other guys searching for celfones and wallets. They were searching inside other passengers’ things. And there was another guy holding a knife and pointing it out on someone. I was so scared and I couldn’t move. I wanted to ask for help but I can’t. All I did was to stare at the driver and back to the holdapers - one of them was beside me. But I didn’t let them pass without saying “Hoy!!!” with a BIG stare at the guy holding a knife!

The holdapers went out of the jeep. I was still in shock. My bag was gone including my new wallet, purse, kikay stuff, school ID and exam pass. which I really need to get my grades this coming Friday. I wanted to cry right then and there but I knew it wasn’t proper. Instead I managed to look like nothing happened. But I couldn’t hide that I was still in shock for what just happened. I went looking for the faces of other passengers. There wasn’t a difference when I looked at their faces. Everybody was natutulala. Just like me. But they were with somebody else, unlike me, I was all by myself. So they went on asking me “miss, ano nakuha syo?”… “may pera ka pa ba pauwi?”… “pahiramin na muna kita bka hndi ka makauwi nyan.. kawawa ka naman..” I was touched by those people who I knew lost their wallets and celfones but can still manage to give me some money just to go home. Good thing, I am going to be fetched after that jeepney ride. “hindi po, ok lng po. May susundo naman po sa akin pauwi” I told them.

When I finally reached my destination, I went down the jeep with nothing.. both hands on my side. but just my celfone inside my pocket. which I can’t get out. I don’t know. For some reason nawalan ako ng gana. I felt relieved because I still have my fone. And I saved it. I was walking like a poor girl. Still scared. Nanginginig. Very Shocked. As what others put it, “naglalakad sa kawalan”. and that's what happened to me.

I arrived home teary-eyed. And told my parents and siblings about what happened. That’s when I really cried and let everything out.

Tomorrow, it is exactly one week after the holdap. I don’t know what’s going to happen. I am not sure if can still ride the jeep alone. I am still scared. But not like before. I hate those holdapers who ruined my peaceful life. They stole my things. Now, they gave me trauma. Tomorrow, its gonna be Hassle. It’s time to get my grades.. where’s my ID and exam pass???